Or at least I feel like it.
I wonder what will change after the ceremony.
John and I already seem “married couple”ish to me. We love each other to bits and are best friends. We have been living together happily since the beginning of last year and have gotten into comfortable household roles. We share responsibilities and bills, we make decisions together and it’s all so natural. We balance each other in the best of ways and we have a shared view of what’s to come next for our lives together.
When we talk to married couples, they tell John and I that things will change, but they can never really articulate what exactly will happen. They just say “Oh, just you wait.” and “You’ll See!” and giggle to their partner. I really don’t understand and I’m hoping some of my married bloggy friends and readers can help me out here.
I can’t imagine anything really changing once we get back from our mini-moon in Vegas except that we’ll be legally married and John will be wearing a ring. We’ll have new titles, Husband and Wife….but…our day to day lives will remain the same…won’t they?
Maybe it’s an internal change? Is that what our married buddies mean? Is there a spiritual, emotional bonding that comes with the ceremony? I mean, I know I’m going to feel super close to John and be a blubbering crying mess as we say our vows to devote our lives to each other in front of our families, so maybe that shared experience will create a new bond and have us feeling closer than ever? Will I somehow love him more, and he me?
We’ve discussed this and both kinda feel the same and are anxious to see if we do have any changes after we’re officially husband and wife. I feel like I’m already married, but maybe after April 17th I’ll have a mega wake up call and realize how silly I was to underestimate my wedding ceremony.
For those of you who lived together and shared lives before marriage, what changed for you?
We get told the same excat thing. I dont get it either. We have lived together two years and are married like, but other married couples insist that things will change after the ceremony. There was a post on the knot about it sometime ago and most of the women also said that things changed but was not able to verbalize exactly what changed. Hmmm, I guess you can tell me all about it since you are getting married first.
Dan,
Nothing changes, I've been married for 2 months and don't feel any different. Most of the time I forget I'm married until someone says it to me or if someone ask me my name (that you have to get used to). I'll tell you when the change comes…when you have a baby. That's the big change to your relationship.
i think our relationship has been strengthened after marriage but i don't think it's because of the rings, ceremony, or papers…i think it's because we know we've made that commitment, everyone knows it, and i think above all, it's time that has made us stronger ( : this is so exciting that you're getting married!
sssdawna – I guess our relationship really won't change then. We've already made the commitment to be with each other forever and our friends/family already know it so maybe there wont be a profound effect on us. I guess since we've been together forever it's kinda different? I dunno
Pastry Gurl – Oh goodness I know a baby will change things for sure!!! Congrats on your marriage, I never really thought about the name thing. Interesting
Reicha – you're totally in the same boat as I am, I'll definitely let you know haha
My big moment was when I realized that I was now his next of kin. If something happened to him, they'd call me first – not his mom. It would be MY responsibility to notify all the OTHER family members because I'm now first in line.
That was really major to me.
Day to day, not much changed in our lives. Like you, we had been living together for a long while before we got married. We used our marriage as a reason to make some changes, mostly using this a fresh start to be kinder and more appreciative of each other.
One thing that has changed some is just the paperwork linking us to each other. Officially, we didn't list the other as beneficiaries, I didn't want to be on the mortgage, etc. until it was official.